If you do and you can't stop thinking about your ex, read on...
Every minute you spend one minute thinking about him is one minute you are not spending time thinking about yourself and your future. It's crazy and you literally have to growl at yourself and choose a different thought every time your mind goes there.
He's controlling your thoughts because you are allowing him to and whenever you do it, you are getting a payoff. That's why people stay stuck. Your payoff is a reward, and the thought that he may be unhappy, or karma will catch up with him or he'll come back or he's sorry, and suffering is you just wanting to be right and make him wrong.
Whilst you hold onto the judgement you can never be free.
Every time you find yourself thinking about him, STOP yourself by choosing a different thought and focus on something you can do in that minute that will benefit yourself.
You just have to accept the reality of the situation and you don't have to understand it, or get an apology from him or even know why it happened. You need none of that to be able to move on.
It's not right or wrong, it just is.
People do what people do and they will always convince themselves and justify their own story because we all like to be right. If you asked your ex for his side of the story, he'd have a completely logical explanation as to why he did what he did. It doesn't matter. It's all just a made up BS story so he doesn't have to be wrong.
People can be quite delusional but the reality and human nature dictate that we behave in a manner that is in line with and confirms the actions we have taken.
The suffering comes when we fight against what actually is your new reality. The dreams you had, the future you planned and how you thought your life was going to be is all gone. Your only job now is for you to focus on your present situation and your future.
So start looking and dig deep to ask yourself what you really want and who are you now that you are not his wife. Get to know yourself, what makes you happy, what would you love to do, what can you need to learn, and empower yourself to move forward and create an amazing second chapter for your life.
You are all strong, intelligent beautiful women and you have so much to give and contribute.
I used to always stop myself being miserable by grounding myself and asking myself is my current behaviour moving me in the direction of my goals and are I being a great role model or am I short changing myself by being a victim.
Gratitude is also very important because fear and love can't exist at the same time, so I would take whatever I was scared to do and just do it. I knew that I would survive and I was strong. I was grateful that I was at a place I and I alone had the ability to shape my future. I knew it was up to me to chart my path ahead so I gave myself permission to dream and I gave up my excuses.
I believed with all my soul that I could have what I set my heart on. And I did. I astounded myself because from the minute I chose and accepted that I was 100% responsible for my own happiness, I never gave my power away again. I chose that I would not give away 1 more minute of my life to a man I had already given 30 years to, and things changed.
I made my past my bitch and used it to propel me forward.
And you can do it too. It takes courage, conviction and a badass dose of determination but on the other side is freedom.
I ain't going to lie to you, it wasn't easy, it didn't happen overnight and I certainly didn't take one pill to get on my feet and turn my life around. But if you've had enough and feel ready to do what I did, then watch our free training here:
If you aren't ready yet, I totally understand. But remember you can do this too, you can make your past what propels you into your new life.
For some, it may take a little longer to make a decision, the important thing to know is that the options are out there and the world is open and waiting for you.