Asking yourself if you've done enough work and Relationship Ready before stepping out is vital!
Often women jump into relationships or stumble across someone and start to date. They then spin out and are flooded by a million questions and their mind starts to go crazy.
They don’t know how to act or how to handle themselves and their emotions. All their senses are heightened, fear is pulsating through their bodies and it is a super stressful time.
They don’t know if they can trust, is he is the one, they over analyse and think about everything he says trying to work out what he means, if he likes them, is this the beginning of something or is he a liar, cheater, player or scammer…
Your old patterns will be brought up, your defences are in a state of heightened awareness and you heart and head will be in a whirlpool.
This is why it’s so important to be relationship ready and have done your work so you are prepared and equipped to handle dating and a...
I'm so proud of Joanne for graduating from The Shine Program. Congratulations Joanne.
Joanne was similar to a lot of you ladies and was ready to step out and date, but wasn't sure where to start.
Joanne entered The Shine Program 9 weeks ago. She's now got a plan, goals and new skills which will ensure her success.
I have no doubt 2019 is going to be a big year for her and I'm sure she'll be sharing a photo of a new magnificent man with us soon. She's worked hard and deserves everything that is on its way to her.
I thought you may be interested in her journey and join with me in congratulating her on her success. ?
This is her journey in her words:
Before the Shine Program, I was living in a state of uncertainty. I wasn’t moving forward after my divorce and felt as if I didn’t know how. I most definitely feared to step out into the dating world as I didn’t feel I knew what I wanted and most definitely worried I would pick the same type of man again. I...
Does the thought of your kids spending time with the OW make you feel sick?
I was talking to a lady I coach yesterday who was challenged because her ex and his new girlfriend were having her kids for the weekend.
She was feeling sick and completely crushed and wanted to know how to handle it.
Have you felt like this?
It is hard to have another woman around your kids, so I had to get her to be conscious of why she was feeling this way and what she had to do so she was ok with it.
I explained that how she behaves will have consequences, and she has to get clear on what she really wants for her kids.
She loves her kids and yet, she didn't want what she knew she had to do. Through processing her own fears, she realised she didn't want them to be in an environment where they feel uncomfortable and dividing their love.
But that bought up all sorts of fears and pain for her.
She felt she owned them and didn't want to share them. It was painful, extremely painful because she had a dream of...
This is very true and also relevant after divorce.
Sometimes with divorce, it is all of this plus the fact that the person still has the ability to affect you and will continue to influence you if you allow it.
I know when there are kids and shared property involved there feels like there is no completion however once you deal with that and put some workable solutions in place, it gets better.
This brings up a lot of fear as many ladies who find themselves single worry about their security, future finances, employment, have custody concerns, contact and visitation issues etc. So you need to look after your own well-being and heal so you can confidently deal with all of these challenges.
By accepting your new reality, you can logically find and pave a way forward where you learn what you need to know to move on with your new life.
Everything changes, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. The future can be better than you've ever had because you are now in the driver's seat! This is...
Do you have a nagging little voice in your head who is your own inner critic? Is your little voice saying nasty things about you and trying to limit what you say and do?
If you are conscious of your inner critic, you are not alone! Everyone has one and it often sabotages your success by stopping you from doing anything that it fears may be dangerous or unsafe. Whilst that's a good thing if you are in danger, it's not a great thing 90% of the time as it stops and limits you experiencing life and living in your true power.
Our inner voice is run on our fears.
Another name some people call our inner voice is our “monkey mind”. According to Buddhist principles, listening to our “monkey mind” often leaves us feeling unsettled, restless, or confused.
Your Monkey Mind is the part of your brain most connected to the ego, which contends that you can’t do anything right. It’s also the part of you that stifles healing and growth by preventing you from moving...
Has Your Journey Been Worth It?…. Have you Made Lemonade From Your Lemons…
At first, I was so sad, hurt and I suffered when my “Husbeen” suddenly left me…
But now I can look back and reflect on the past with gratitude and love…
How do you describe your personal journey post-divorce?
Has time healed you?
Are you happier and more confident after your divorce?
Has all your hoping and praying served you and have you moved on to create a new life?
Time doesn't always heal I know… Some people get stuck and life goes downhill after their divorce, they lose what little confidence they had and often slide into depression… They feel powerless to change and don't know how to escape the craziness… and many become victims and blame everyone else for their pain…
Looking back I describe my post-divorce journey like this;
I loved my “Husbeen” for 30 years and are so grateful for the time we had together.
I still respect...
So let me ask you ladies if you meet someone and have a few dates and you are not feeling he's right for you, what do you do?
Do you ghost?
Or do you also just disappear, not answer messages, say nothing, point out their shortcomings or just stop all communication???
Or do you tell him on the first date in person that you don't see any future, or do you ring or text to thank him after the date, or do you see a need to explain the reason why you aren't attracted to him and let him know that he's not for you?
These are just questions worthy of investigation, not a judgement.
Men I coach (as well as women) tell me all the time that they have been ghosted as well, so I know men are not the only ones doing the ghosting…
Sometimes it's a fear from one or either party that comes up… and many people avoid being honest and upfront because they are not confident enough to be able to understand their own feelings, analyse what's really going on, unsure of what they are really...
1. Every day be working on yourself and working towards your goals.
Have a daily ritual and spend at least 30 minutes reading to grow your mind as it's one of the most valuable things you can do. Manage your time wisely and fill your mind with positive information. If you are short on time, turn off the TV and read things that are of value, nourishing, substantial and teaches you distinctions.
2. Learn to Act In Spite of Uncertainty.
Every one of these habits is important but this one is especially vital when learning to heal and grow after a loss or divorce. In a world that seems more uncertain every day, many people are afraid to take a risk of any kind. But with uncertainty comes opportunity and certainty is not a feeling, it's a habit that you can create.
Progress comes when you tell yourself the truth, and you're able to feel the uncertainty and take action anyway. Have you heard of the book, “Feel your fear, but do it anyway?” It's a great book as once we conquer...
Is it your Ex or your life you are missing? Here's why it's normal and why it doesn't mean anything…
Often we hold on to our past as it feels familiar, safe and it's what we know. We block out the not so good parts and often let our mind run amok by holding onto an imaginary story, and represents everything you don't want…
When you are willing to grow past your limiting beliefs and not settle for instant gratification, you’ll bring into your life exactly what you do want!
Process and practice is the only way to daily build your life, and it happens one step at a time. There are definitely things you can do to shorten this process and make it painless. You learn, grow and rest, instead of retreating.
You rest instead of isolating.
You rest instead of pulling back.
You check your mind and train it, so it says, “I need to rest now” and not “this doesn't work, I'm overwhelmed, I'm giving up, I’m going to just be single…
I'd hate to see...
Ladies, are you looking for love? I want to encourage you to not give up on it happening for you?
I was once left by my husband. We had a business, loving family and without any discussion or warning, he was gone, just like that.
So I get it! I had to pick myself up just like you probably have had to, shell-shocked and numb, so many unanswered questions, so many why’s…, and sometimes it felt like I’d never be able to move on, heal, forgive and find another man.
But I survived – AND you will as well. My kids missed their Dad…yours probably do as well. They may not say it, they may be hurting and angry, but they miss what they lost, regardless of their age.
Even though I never thought I would, I met another amazing man and life has never been happier, and this is what I want to encourage you to hold onto.
I am very grateful and honour my marriage. We had 30 years of fun, we were best friends, we had an amazing life, worldwide adventures, built a...