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SOLVE THE PROBLEM - DON'T JUST LEARN TO COPE!

The problem with Coping Strategies is they are just bandaids... they just cover up the real issues and numb you to what's really going on within you.

It causes a disconnect and you can FEEL IT!

You know what is going on inside you is different to what you are showing the world - AND YOU FEEL LIKE A FRAUD!
Every day we talk to people all over who use bandaids to manage their problems but never actually solve the underlying issues.
When things aren't working in your life, it causes you to feel stuck and frustrated.
Whether you are:
- Putting on weight and can't lose it
- Trapped in a job or a business that you hate
- Always in your head with a brain that doesn't turn off
- Have struggled to have happy & meaningful relationships


You probably feel like you have been on a treadmill and take one foot forward and land on your bum, ten-foot back...

You feel like you make a bit of "progress"...and then something happens and you crash. Life just seems to throw you one thing after another, and...

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Are You Relationship Ready?

Asking yourself if you've done enough work and Relationship Ready before stepping out is vital!

Often women jump into relationships or stumble across someone and start to date. They then spin out and are flooded by a million questions and their mind starts to go crazy.

They don’t know how to act or how to handle themselves and their emotions. All their senses are heightened, fear is pulsating through their bodies and it is a super stressful time.

They don’t know if they can trust, is he is the one, they over analyse and think about everything he says trying to work out what he means, if he likes them, is this the beginning of something or is he a liar, cheater, player or scammer…

Your old patterns will be brought up, your defences are in a state of heightened awareness and you heart and head will be in a whirlpool.

This is why it’s so important to be relationship ready and have done your work so you are prepared and equipped to handle dating and a...

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Joanne’s Journey Through The Shine Program…

I'm so proud of Joanne for graduating from The Shine Program. Congratulations Joanne.

Joanne was similar to a lot of you ladies and was ready to step out and date, but wasn't sure where to start. 

Joanne entered The Shine Program 9 weeks ago. She's now got a plan, goals and new skills which will ensure her success. 

I have no doubt 2019 is going to be a big year for her and I'm sure she'll be sharing a photo of a new magnificent man with us soon. She's worked hard and deserves everything that is on its way to her.

I thought you may be interested in her journey and join with me in congratulating her on her success. ?

This is her journey in her words:

Before the Shine Program, I was living in a state of uncertainty. I wasn’t moving forward after my divorce and felt as if I didn’t know how. I most definitely feared to step out into the dating world as I didn’t feel I knew what I wanted and most definitely worried I would pick the same type of man again. I...

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Death Or Divorce… Which One Is Worse?

This is very true and also relevant after divorce.

Sometimes with divorce, it is all of this plus the fact that the person still has the ability to affect you and will continue to influence you if you allow it.

I know when there are kids and shared property involved there feels like there is no completion however once you deal with that and put some workable solutions in place, it gets better.

This brings up a lot of fear as many ladies who find themselves single worry about their security, future finances, employment, have custody concerns, contact and visitation issues etc. So you need to look after your own well-being and heal so you can confidently deal with all of these challenges.

By accepting your new reality, you can logically find and pave a way forward where you learn what you need to know to move on with your new life.

Everything changes, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. The future can be better than you've ever had because you are now in the driver's seat! This is...

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Your Post Separation/Divorce Journey…

Has Your Journey Been Worth It?…. Have you Made Lemonade From Your Lemons…

At first, I was so sad, hurt and I suffered when my “Husbeen” suddenly left me…

But now I can look back and reflect on the past with gratitude and love…

How do you describe your personal journey post-divorce?

Has time healed you?

Are you happier and more confident after your divorce?

Has all your hoping and praying served you and have you moved on to create a new life?

Time doesn't always heal I know… Some people get stuck and life goes downhill after their divorce, they lose what little confidence they had and often slide into depression… They feel powerless to change and don't know how to escape the craziness… and many become victims and blame everyone else for their pain…

Looking back I describe my post-divorce journey like this;

I loved my “Husbeen” for 30 years and are so grateful for the time we had together.

I still respect...

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Do You Ghost?

So let me ask you ladies if you meet someone and have a few dates and you are not feeling he's right for you, what do you do?

Do you ghost?

Or do you also just disappear, not answer messages, say nothing, point out their shortcomings or just stop all communication???

Or do you tell him on the first date in person that you don't see any future, or do you ring or text to thank him after the date, or do you see a need to explain the reason why you aren't attracted to him and let him know that he's not for you?

These are just questions worthy of investigation, not a judgement.

Men I coach (as well as women) tell me all the time that they have been ghosted as well, so I know men are not the only ones doing the ghosting…

Sometimes it's a fear from one or either party that comes up… and many people avoid being honest and upfront because they are not confident enough to be able to understand their own feelings, analyse what's really going on, unsure of what they are really...

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Are You Missing Your Ex Or Your Old Life?

Is it your Ex or your life you are missing? Here's why it's normal and why it doesn't mean anything…

Often we hold on to our past as it feels familiar, safe and it's what we know. We block out the not so good parts and often let our mind run amok by holding onto an imaginary story, and represents everything you don't want…

When you are willing to grow past your limiting beliefs and not settle for instant gratification, you’ll bring into your life exactly what you do want!

Process and practice is the only way to daily build your life, and it happens one step at a time. There are definitely things you can do to shorten this process and make it painless. You learn, grow and rest, instead of retreating.

You rest instead of isolating.

You rest instead of pulling back.

You check your mind and train it, so it says, “I need to rest now” and not “this doesn't work, I'm overwhelmed, I'm giving up, I’m going to just be single…

I'd hate to see...

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Don’t Give Up Looking For Love

divorce empowered fear grow heal Apr 30, 2019

Ladies, are you looking for love? I want to encourage you to not give up on it happening for you?

I was once left by my husband. We had a business, loving family and without any discussion or warning, he was gone, just like that.

So I get it! I had to pick myself up just like you probably have had to, shell-shocked and numb, so many unanswered questions, so many why’s…, and sometimes it felt like I’d never be able to move on, heal, forgive and find another man.

But I survived – AND you will as well. My kids missed their Dad…yours probably do as well. They may not say it, they may be hurting and angry, but they miss what they lost, regardless of their age.

Even though I never thought I would, I met another amazing man and life has never been happier, and this is what I want to encourage you to hold onto.

I am very grateful and honour my marriage. We had 30 years of fun, we were best friends, we had an amazing life, worldwide adventures, built a...

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Is It Normal To Not Be Interested In Men?

divorce grow heal love Apr 14, 2019

I was asked recently if it's normal to not be attracted to or interested in men after your divorce…

This is my answer and I thought you may find it interesting…

After separation, many women find that they are not very interested in even looking at another man.  Initially, they may be heartbroken and when they look around all men they see look unappealing and you may be not attracted to any of them!  That may be pretty nasty and judgemental, but it was a defence mechanism and the way most women keep themselves safe and something they do to protect themselves from being hurt again.  Many rationalize that they could be just as happy on their own and they really don't need a man, so doubted they would ever be in another relationship.

In hindsight, this thinking has proved neither Right and Wrong…but there are consequences for every decision we make. Whilst we may protect ourselves, we need to also ask ourselves what is taking that stand going to cost...

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What Other Say Is None Of Your Business!

divorce grow heal love Apr 07, 2019

Good Morning Beautiful Ladies. Here's a little reminder for you. Always remember you are beautiful, worthy and what others say and do is none of your business.

I know what you've been through as most of the Women here have a similar story, so you are in a safe place and we understand and no one judges.

Life post-separation, divorce or being widowed is a journey and takes a few things to get through it. I know everyone says it just time and you need to learn to love yourself or pray about it, and this is the answers and I agree that they are part of the answer but if it was the total answer, why are so many women continuing to suffer and become so stuck years after they were divorced or widowed?

In my experience, your pain doesn't magically go away unless you make a decision to change your mindset, grow your emotional intelligence and create a new future for yourself.

Our subconscious mind is so powerful and left unchecked, it has the ability to keep feeding you the same thoughts and...

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