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The Social Pressure of Wanting a Partner Again Or Not!

January 17, 20246 min read

Are midlife women not interested in men anymore? Is there social pressure or judgment of wanting a partner? Do women who choose to "go it alone" feel understood or judged? These are some of the questions that often arise when discussing the social pressure of wanting or not wanting a partner anymore.

In today's society, the idea of relationships and partnerships has evolved significantly. Gone are the days when women were expected to settle down and start a family at a young age. Now, more than ever, women are embracing their independence and choosing to live life on their own terms.

One of the factors that contribute to this shift is the increase in divorce rates. Many midlife women find themselves separated or divorced, and they may feel hesitant about entering into another relationship. After going through the emotional turmoil of a failed marriage, it's natural for these women to question whether they want to embark on another romantic journey.

However, this decision is not without its challenges. Society often imposes certain expectations on women, especially when it comes to relationships. There is a pervasive belief that women should always desire a partner, and those who choose to remain single are somehow incomplete or lacking.

This social pressure can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of judgment and isolation. Midlife women who choose to "go it alone" may find themselves facing questions and comments from well-meaning friends and family members. They might be asked why they are not actively dating or why they don't want a partner anymore.

It's important to recognize that everyone's journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to these questions. Some women may have had negative experiences in past relationships and are simply not ready to open themselves up to another one. Others may have found fulfilment and happiness in their independence and have no desire to enter into a partnership.

The key here is to respect and support each individual's choices. Women who choose to be single should not be judged or made to feel inadequate. Instead, they should be celebrated for their courage and strength in embracing their independence.

Fortunately, there are communities and support networks available for midlife women who choose to remain single. These spaces provide a safe and understanding environment where women can share their experiences, seek advice, and find solace in the company of like-minded individuals.

It's also crucial for society as a whole to shift its perspective on relationships. Rather than viewing being single as a negative, we should celebrate the diversity of choices and experiences that women have. By doing so, we create a more inclusive and accepting society where women feel empowered to make decisions that align with their own desires and aspirations.

In conclusion, the social pressure of wanting or not wanting a partner anymore is a complex issue that midlife women often face. It's essential to recognize and respect each individual's choices and not impose societal expectations on them. Whether a woman chooses to remain single or pursue a new relationship, her happiness and fulfilment should be the ultimate goal.

I answered a question from a lady this morning where she asked if other women were not attracted or interested in men at all after divorce.

 

This is my answer and I thought it may be relevant to the ladies here.

 

"At first, I was also the same. I used to look around and think the men I saw were all deadheads and I was not attracted to anyone. Looking back it was a defense mechanism.

 

It’s was a way of keeping myself safe and something we do to protect ourselves. Let’s face it, you never have another relationship you can be happy and never get hurt, right???...

 

Right and Wrong...

 

There are consequences for every decision we make.

Whilst we may protect ourselves, we need to also ask ourselves what is taking that stand going to cost us.

 

I’d say that you need to look at why you feel like that... what thoughts, feelings and emotions are running through you. Is having a loving, committed relationship important to you? Is being on your own for the rest of your life what you want? Is having a series of one night stands with no commitment to your preference???

 

Whatever it is, only you know so you must decide. It’s a decision you can make just for now if that's what you want - you can change it down the track. So what is it you want for yourself right now?

 

If having a relationship is important to you, you’ll need to define what you want it to look like and who’ll you’ll need to be to achieve that outcome. Once you have made that decision you will probably need to gain new knowledge, tools and beliefs so you can bring about what it is you want.

 

I loved being married, I loved being single. I had to heal, grow and learn what I did wrong to lose my ex and what I need to do to be able to complete my past and create the life I wanted to have.

 

For me, having a loving partner and a mate to grow old with is what I wanted. My task then was to find a way of going from where I was to where I wanted to be. I knew the caliber of man I wanted so I had to make sure I had done everything I needed to do to prepare myself to be a high-quality woman.

 

By examining your thoughts and looking at the stories you are telling yourself gets you to the truth.

 

Whatever story you tell yourself about your past and where you are at, defines the action you take and will either dis-empower or empower you, depending on how you fame it.

 

Getting over your ex takes understanding and work. I see women falling into 3 categories on this issue. They are stuck, builders or adventurers.

 

I encourage you to see your own truth. No one can tell you what’s right or wrong for you but being honest with yourself as to what you want and being in integrity allows you to be courageous and stand in your own power.

 

Suffering comes when you sell out on yourself and are living a lie. It keeps you safe but never truly happy."

 

Even the best of us need help. We know that you’re smart, successful, and probably very fulfilled in many other aspects of your life. But if you feel like there’s something missing, or something feels off, or you just know that there’s a void that opened up after your separation or divorce, then

 

You can get started on your self-development journey by joining "Getting Life & Love Right" membership site, where you will have access to weekly content to keep you motivated, help you move on and start your healing process.

 

Click here to join.

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Fiona May

Fiona May Steddy is the founder of Women On Transition. Fiona has coached over 20,000 women to transform their lives and move on after separation of divorce.

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