This is very true and also relevant after divorce.

Sometimes with divorce, it is all of this plus the fact that the person still has the ability to affect you and will continue to influence you if you allow it.

I know when there are kids and shared property involved there feels like there is no completion however once you deal with that and put some workable solutions in place, it gets better.

This brings up a lot of fear as many ladies who find themselves single worry about their security, future finances, employment, have custody concerns, contact and visitation issues etc. So you need to look after your own well-being and heal so you can confidently deal with all of these challenges.

By accepting your new reality, you can logically find and pave a way forward where you learn what you need to know to move on with your new life.

Everything changes, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. The future can be better than you've ever had because you are now in the driver's seat! This is your opportunity to be brutally honest with yourself and create the future you want to be living.

You have everything inside you what you need to move forward ladies with dignity and grace. Believe in yourself as you are incredibly strong so get resourceful and create something beautiful and inspiring for your future life.

Create new goals and allow yourself to dream so you bring into your life what you want.

Your past will define you and keep you stuck if you don't use it as a reason to heal, grow and rebuild. It is the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next one.

Be courageous, loving, kind and live life on your terms, free of the constraints of the past.

If you don't know how, model someone who has gone before you and has done the hard work and can guide you. Success always leaves clues.

I have always lived by the rule that I only take advice from people who have been through what I'm going through and are now where I want to be. Everyone will have an opinion but it's up to you to decide what it is you want for you and your family.

It is absolutely possible to get to a place where you love yourself, are truly happy, healed so your past doesn't hurt you or you have any control over your thoughts.

Everyone is different with a unique set of circumstances, however, mending your relationships so you are complete allows you to be in peace.

Doing what you can do to retain or establish a relationship with your kids and minimising the disruption in your family is important and we do this through healing ourselves first.

One of my greatest joys is to have a reunited family after divorce so my kids aren't suffering. Being able to celebrate special events together as a family is a blessing and something I initially thought would be impossible however we now can.

It takes work and a commitment to that intention but life has a funny way of fulfilling on whatever we truly want and delivering it to us.

Stay strong and move forward. Be the best YOU can be by dealing with your hurt or it will impede you from being able to come from love.

It takes concurring your own fears and limiting beliefs so you aren't subconsciously sabotaging yourself and what you really want.

Fiona May

Relationship & Transition Coach

Women On Transition

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