Have you ever wondered if there is an easier way to date and find a Magnificent Man? Do you ever wonder what some Women know and you don't? How do they find amazing men whilst you seem to be stuck and either too scared to date or just keep meeting duds? If this sounds like you, it's because you probably haven't made these 3 decisions. I hope you'll get some value from this post. Fiona May 

THE 3 DECISIONS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

There’s nothing worse to me than Women who are suffering, sad, frustrated, angry or unhappy. The great news is that it doesn't have to be this way!  It's debilitating and there's no excuse for it, yet I see this phenomenon every day. It results from an unbalanced life, one with too much expectation and not enough appreciation for what they have.

Without love, gratitude and appreciation for what you already have, you’ll never know true fulfillment. But how do you cultivate this balance in your life? What’s the point of living if your life has no balance?

For nearly three decades, I’ve had the privilege of coaching people from every walk of life and seen how by adopting these 3 simple changes, their lives have been transformed. These include my clients, my staff, family and friends.

Across the board, I’ve found that when people are faced with a situation, they make these 3 key decisions and what they chose to do, dictates the quality of their lives they have.

If you make these 3 decisions unconsciously, you’ll end up like the majority of people who tend to be out of shape physically, exhausted emotionally and often financially stressed. But if you make these decisions consciously, you can change the course of your life in an instant.

Decision 1: Where Focus Goes Your Energy Flows

At every moment, millions of things compete for your attention. You can focus on things that are happening right here and now or on what you want to create in the future OR you can focus on the past.

Where focus goes, energy flows. What you focus on and your pattern for doing so shapes your entire life.

Which area do you tend to focus on more: what you have or what’s missing from your life?

I’m sure you think about both sides of this coin… But if you examine your habitual thoughts, what do you tend to spend most of your time dwelling on?

Rather than focusing on what you don’t have and begrudging those who have the things you would like, a loving relationship for example, or people who seem to have themselves altogether.  Perhaps you could acknowledge that you have much to be grateful for. You can be grateful for who you are, your health, family, friends, opportunities and mind.

Developing a habit of appreciating what you have can create a new level of emotional well-being and vitality. But the real question is, do you take time to deeply feel grateful with your mind, body, heart and soul? That’s where the joy, happiness and fulfilment can be found.

Consider a second pattern of focus that affects the quality of your life: Do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can’t?

If you focus on what you can’t control, you’ll have more stress in life. You can influence many aspects of your life, but you usually can’t control them.

When you adopt this pattern of focus, your brain has to make another decision:

Decision 2: What Are You Making It Mean?

Ultimately, how you feel about your life has nothing to do with the events in it or with your past relationship or what has (or hasn’t) happened to you. The quality of your life is controlled by the meaning you give these things.

Most of the time you may be unaware of the effect that your unconscious mind plays and how it assigns meaning to life’s events.

When something happens that disrupts your life (a divorce, a health issue, being rejected), do you tend to think that this is the end of the world or a new beginning?

If someone confronts you, is that person insulting you, coaching you or truly caring for you?

Does a devastating problem mean that Life is punishing you or challenging you?

Your life takes on whatever meaning you give it. With each meaning comes a unique feeling or emotion, and the quality of your life involves where you live emotionally.

I always ask my clients, “How many of you know someone who is on antidepressants and still depressed?”  Typically 85-90 per cent of people knows somebody.

How is this possible? The drugs should make people feel better. Antidepressants do indeed come with labels warning that suicidal thoughts are a possible side effect but they also numb you from feeling your true feelings as well, and in doing so, is it just delaying you having to deal with your core beliefs and what is causing the pain?

But no matter how much a person drugs themselves, if she constantly focuses on what she can’t control in life and what’s missing, she won’t find it hard to despair. If she adds to that a meaning like, “Life is not worth living,” that’s an emotional cocktail that no antidepressant can consistently overcome.

Yet if that same person can arrive at a new meaning, a reason to live or a belief that all this was meant to be, then they will be stronger than anything that ever happened to them.

When people shift their habitual focus and meanings, there’s no limit on what life can become. A change of focus and a shift in meaning can alter someone’s biochemistry in minutes.

So take control and always remember: Meaning equals emotion and emotion equals your results. Choose consciously and wisely. Find an empowering meaning in any event, and love in its deepest sense will be yours today.

Once you create a meaning in your mind, it creates an emotion, and that emotion leads to a state for making your third decision:

Decision 3: What Action Will You Take?

The actions you take are powerfully shaped by the emotional state you’re in. If you’re angry, you’re going to behave quite differently than if you’re feeling playful or outrageous.

If you want to shape your actions, the fastest way is to change what you focus on and shift the meaning to be something more empowering.

Two angry people will each behave differently. Some pullback, others push through.

Some individuals express anger quietly. Others do so loudly or violently. Yet others suppress it only to look for a passive-aggressive opportunity to regain the upper hand or even exact revenge.

Where do these patterns come from? People tend to model their behaviour on those they respect, enjoy and love.

The people who frustrated or angered you… You often reject their approaches.

Yet far too often you may find yourself falling back into patterns you witnessed over and over again in your past and were displeased by.

It’s very useful for you to become aware of your patterns when you are frustrated, angry or sad or feel lonely. You can’t change your patterns if you’re not aware of them and this is why I say self-awareness is so important.

Now that you’re aware of the power of these three decisions, start looking for role models who are experiencing what you want out of life. I promise you that those Women who attract Magnificent Men and have passionate relationships have a totally different focus and arrive at totally different meanings for the challenges in their lives than people who are constantly complaining and blaming.

It’s not rocket science. If you become aware of the differences in how other Women approach these three decisions, you’ll have a pathway to help you create a true love that lasts.

I have designed a process to help Women finally take control over every aspect of their dating and love life; and it also has a profound impact on all areas of their lives, including their finances, career, their kids, health and more.

It’s where they will redefine what they truly want and create a plan to make it happen: my tried and trusted program is called, “How to Find True Love After Divorce or Being Widowed”.

It's an 8 Week Online course with Personal Coaching, 8 in-depth modules and hand-holding weekly coaching from me.  As you work through the program you’ll confront & smash through your limiting beliefs and learn what you need to do and be to attract a magnificent man.  There is no more powerful way to create the life you were meant to lead. The program is by invitation only as I need to ensure you are a right fit as I'm 100% committed to my client's success and you need to be ready to commit, be coachable and take personal responsibility.

If you don't want to retire and grow old alone, you must act now to ensure you have a loving partner as time is not on your side!  It gets harder and harder and the odds of finding love in later life diminish as every year ticks by.

Book a free breakthrough session with me and I can explain how you can attract the man of your dreams, and be living the life you truly want as most clients do it within 6 months!

Click here to book your FREE Breakthrough Call.

Fiona May 

Relationship and Transition Coach

Women On Transition

P.s. Join our over 16,000 women in our Private Facebook Group if you are a Woman looking to heal, grow and learn how to love after a separation, divorce or being widowed.